The Little One starts the conversation like this:
LO - "Mommy, when I go on my first date, I don't want you to come along."
Me - "Oh, I'm coming along. You just won't know it. I'll sneak into the theater after you have already gone in, and I'll sit right behind you. But you won't know I'm there."
LO - gives me the dagger look
Me - "And if he tries to hold your hand, I'll go 'Ahem!'"
LO - throws more daggers my way with her crystal blue eyes
Me - "And if he tries to kiss you, I'll go 'AHEM!'"
LO - crystal blue eyes turn to steel
Me - "And if he tries anything nasty, I'll hit him over the head with my purse!"
LO - (giggling) "Mommy, if he tries anything nasty, I'll hit him in a sensitive spot on his body."
Me - eyes get huge, eyebrows lift to ceiling "Oh?"
LO - (innocently) "Yeah, like his ears. I'll grab him by the ear and drag him out into the lobby while he goes, 'Ow! Ow! Ow!' And then I'll hit him on the head with my purse."
Ears, huh? Somehow, I think this might actually work.