Thursday, September 11, 2008

Anyone Want a Nine-Year-Old?

Mom: What do you want for breakfast?

Little One: Ice cream.

Mom: You can't have ice cream for breakfast.

Little One: Why not? You asked what I wanted. I answered. I want ice cream.

Mom (fingers making depressions in counter top): Well, you can't have ice cream for breakfast. There's very little nutrition in ice cream.

Little One: Then put it in one of those waffle cones.


Not-So-Little-One (feeding her new betta fish): Isn't he pretty? I named him Nick Jonas.

Mom: Yeah, he's pretty, I guess. For a fish. I'm not so sure Nick would want a fish named after him. He looks plenty healthy - swimming around and eating and stuff. I haven't seen him do a back flip yet, though...

Not-So-Little-One: We're working on that.


Not-So-Little-One: Thank you, Daddy, for working so hard so we can dance. We know it costs a lot of money. And thank you for driving us everywhere.

Dad: You're welcome. I know it's important to you.

Little One: And thank you both for... for... you know... so we could be born.


Not-So-Little-One: Look, Mommy! This woman on the front of this magazine looks just like you!

Mom: Oh, thank you honey, you're very sweet, but she is much prettier. She's famous and everything. She gets paid tons of money just for having her picture taken.

Not-So-Little-One: No, really, Mommy. She looks just like you.

(The cover model: Salma Hayek)


Note to self - increase Not-So-Little-One's allowance

New note to self - sell Little One to the highest bidder


Smirking Cat said...

Did the waffle cone argument win out? :)

amcnew said...

No, but I must admit I was taken aback!