Wednesday, April 22, 2009


Having never been a boy, I have no real idea what it is like to be a man. I can joke about it and take silly quizzes on Facebook and pretend to undertand men, but it's all just that - pretending.

I do happen to have a little experience being a woman, however, and let me tell you... it is confusing business. It's confusing because no one out there can seem to agree on what is acceptable female behavior.

If a woman is too giving, she falls victim to those who would take advantage of her. If she is too demanding, she is a bitch.

If a woman stands up for herself, she might hurt someone's feelings. If she keeps her mouth shut, she could get more than her feelings hurt.

If a woman shows off her academic prowess, she is a haughty. If she tames her intellect, she is a bimbo.

If a woman proudly displays her physique, she is a brazen hussy. If she covers up, she is frumpy.

If a woman allows her sensitive side to show, she is over-emotional. If she keeps her feelings to herself, she is an ice princess.

If a woman initiates physical intimacy with her partner, she is a nymphomaniac. If she waits for him to make the move, she is frigid.

If a woman makes and enforces rules in her household, she is a control freak. If she doesn't immediately discipline her children for infractions, she is permissive.

If a woman chooses to have a career, she is not putting her children first. If she chooses to be a housewife, she is not living up to her potential.

If a woman calls her mate throughout the day to check in with him, she is clingy. If she leaves the cell phone in her purse, she is more interested in her work relations than in her man.

If a woman enjoys "girls night out" with her friends, she is not attending to her family's needs. If she stays home every night and asks her husband to do the same, she is needy.

If a woman asks for help, she is helpless. If she takes care of business, she is too independent.

If a woman is soft and curvy, she is weak. If she is muscular and strong, she's butch.

Of course these are glaring extremes. And... we've all heard them. The point is, it is difficult, of not impossible, to find balance. And feeling off balance is perhaps one of the most common causes of distress in a person's life. I sure wish someone would make up my mind for me.

1 comment:

BB said...

Perhaps you're familiar with this one:

by Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing of my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can't see.
I say
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
The palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.