Did I Hear That Right?

I love to revisit the funny or random things my girls say. They are absolutely funniest when they don't mean to be. For instance:

I am returning from the pediatrician with two sick little girls. I lock them in the car for 5 minutes while I run into the corner pharmacy to pick up a prescription. When I return I'm met by a wide-eyed Little One who frantically asks, "Where is your cell phone?" "Why," I ask. "Because (The Not-So-Little One) needs to go potty. It's an emergency! Call 9-1-1!"

The Little One is having a bad day. Everything is wrong, everything makes her unhappy, nothing appeases her. I tease her by saying," Oh, man! Everything is so bad! There are clouds in the sky! There's too much traffic! Nobody loves me!" I'm interrupted by the Not-So-Little One who chimes in with "and everybody around here has a wienie dog!"

I am having a heart-to-heart talk with the Little One about what happens to people when they get old, how sometimes people are forgotten by their families. She assures me that she is going to buy a house right next door to mine when she grows up so that she can come eat dinner with me every night. She tells me that she will even bring some of the food so that I don't have to do all the cooking and even help with the clean up. What a sweet child! And then she turns to me and asks in earnest, "Do you like macaroni and cheese?"

We're talking about sports. The Not-So-Little is asking when the different sports seasons begin. "When is football season? When is soccer season? When is baseball season?" Mikel asks, "When is it NOT basketball season?" Parents laugh. To continue the humor I ask, "When is curling season?" The Little One readily replies, "When it is not humid outside. What.... ?! You know my hair won't hold a curl in the humidity..."

One time at the state fair, the girls came out of the fun house all smiles and giggles. The Not-So-Little One is standing before us, describing in detail all of the things they encountered in there. Meanwhile, standing slightly behind her, the Little One acts it all out in pantomime, as if she is interpreting for others just like her who consider words to be superfluous.

"Mama," says the Little One recently at Oscar's, "Our waitress is nice. She's short, but she's nice."

We're walking through the grocery store last evening. The Little One announces to me that I need to put a load of laundry in because she is out of understuff.

Drop me a line and share something crazy you've heard at your house. It's always nice to hear that other people's kids are weird, too.