Unwelcome Guest

I received an unexpected visit from an old acquaintance - Depression. Depression and I have had a love/hate relationship for years. We had a full blown tryst back in the late '80s when several life changing experiences converged, picking me straight up out of my universe and slamming me down into the abyss.

The abyss is dark, and it is lonely. But it also peaceful. The abyss envelopes you with a profound heaviness, keeping emotions at bay. And that is exactly what you want when the emotions are too big to handle and the voices in your head won't shut up.

Today when Depression rode into town, I wasn't particularly glad to see him, but I invited him in for a spell. We reminisced a bit, just like old times. Depression may be a lousy house guest, but he is familiar. And there is comfort in the familiar. Sort of like an abusive lover. You hate him for hurting you, and you hate yourself for staying with him, but as least you know how he operates.

Eventually you must part ways.

Depression isn't going to stay long this time around. Already we are planning for his departure. He hasn't finished packing yet, but his keys are sitting on top of the piano by the door. Seems Depression doesn't want to stand outside with me, soaking up the warmth of the sun and feeling the breeze blow through his hair. Depression doesn't want to feel alive, and I'm not dead yet. So Depression will be leaving soon. We'll share a few more tears before he goes. I'll pry his cold arms from around my shoulders and bid him farewell. And then I'll go stand in the sun.